A Lost Love
by McGonagall25
Summary: Severus Snape knew that Lily Evans would never be his after what he had done, but it didn't mean that it still didn't hurt. He was foolish to think that he could ever win her back. One night they met up to talk because he asked her to and she went just to see.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Just a one-shot between Lily and Severus with Remus as well. Hope you all like it. Please read and review. It helps me a lot. Plus I love to hear what you'll have to say. Once again I own nothing. JK Rowling owns Harry Potter.

It was a clear night when Severus Snape entered the Leaky Cauldron. He was meeting an old friend here for the first time in a long time. Severus had said something awful to her which ruined their friendship, and now they were no longing speaking to each other. He sank into a chair at the bar. "What can I get you, Snape?" asked Tom.

Tom was an old man who had seen Severus in here on several occasions. He wondered what was going to go down tonight. Severus often came in here to get people to join or other business for the Dark Lord. It was the best place to meet, or he would come here after getting what he needed for a potion he was working on at the moment. "A firewhiskey please" Severus spoke in response to Tom's question.

Severus thought back to the letter he had sent Lily. It wasn't that long but, long enough to get the point across of how much he wanted to see her again.

Dear Lily,

I hope this letter finds you well. Right at this moment, things aren't fairing well for me. I am lost and need to see you one last time. I have to know, if it is over between us or if there is a way to fix this. I still want to be your friend, and I do love you, Lily. James can't give you what I can.

Love,

Severus.

Lily had received the letter a few days after he had sent it. She replied back right away after she and James talked it over. He wouldn't let her go unless someone was with her.

Dear Severus,

I would love to see you again too. We have so much to talk about, Severus. I miss my friend but, I need to know if we can go back to being friends or if our friendship is over.

Lily.

Severus had spent several days crying over the letter. She hadn't said that she loved him back or that they would become friends again. He was anxious, and Bellatrix laughed at him as she had seen the letter. "I told you the filthy mudblood did not love you at all."

It took all his power not to hex Bellatrix. "I am just going to go now Bellatrix and do not call Lily that again" Severus spoke in a low cold voice.

Severus already knew the night was not going to go well. Lily Evans now Potter had written that said she would not be coming alone. She would have someone with her. Lily said it was safer that way. Severus just wondered when it got to the point where she needed someone come with her to meet him. "Coming right up, Snape," said Tom.

As he went to get it from the back Lily walked, and she was right, she was not alone. No Potter was not with her nor was Black. Severus cursed under his breath. She had brought the werewolf Remus Lupin with her. They made their way over to him. Severus now knew why she had brought someone with her. She was pregnant and didn't want to come alone. "Hello, Snape," Lily said Coldly. "Your letter said that you wanted to talk to me."

"It did but, as it said, I wanted to talk to you alone," said Severus with a cold voice like Lily's. "I wanted to meet alone and why did you have to bring him of all people?" Severus asked.

Severus could not stand Remus Lupin at all. He had stood by or sit by while his friends bullied him to pieces so, Severus was not happy to see him. Remus moved closer to Lily. He gave Severus a look. Remus was not thrilled with being here either but, it was the only way James would let Lily come. Also, Sirius would have hexed Severus bad if he was the one to go and James was busy with some stuff plus he wasn't in the mood to see Severus at all. Peter was busy as well. "I will be waiting over there at that table" Remus spoke to Lily.

She hugged him then some money. "Ok great I should not be long and get yourself something to drink while you wait," said Lily with a smile on her face.

 _'She uses to look at me that way'_ thought Severus. He did miss the way Lily would smile, and her eyes would light up when she would talk to him. Lily sank onto the stood as Remus walked away. Tom came back with his drink. "Here you go and what can I get for you Mrs. Potter?" asked Tom smiling at her.

Severus let out a hiss. He hated hearing her be called that. It was not right. Lily could have been his. _'But you blow it, Severus. It is your fault. You are the reason she is with Potter. Had you not called her a mudblood than that would have been your child and not Potter's'_ Severus mind was saying to him. "A water please Tom and thank you," said Lily grinning at Tom.

She turned to look at Severus with the grin leaving her face. Lily stared at him a moment before Severus started to talk. "Lily I wanted us to meet so that I could say sorry for all the things that I had done. I am truly sorry for calling you a mudblood."

Tom sat down Lily's water, and she thanked him while she thought of what to say to that. On the one hand she wanted to forgive Severus but, on the other hand, she knew he called others that so what made her different. "Severus, I know that you are sorry, and I do want to forgive you but, I can't because you go around calling others that. As for why Remus is here, Sirius would have hexed you if he came. James had work to do, and Peter was busy. I was doing this to keep you safe. James was angry when he read the letter" said Lily.

She was doing this to keep him safe. Severus knew that he could take care of himself. He did not need Lily to do for him and what was she thinking letting James read the letter. He had told her it was for her eyes only. "Lily you are different than them. They deserve to be called that but, you do not. You do not need to protect me. I can take care of myself, and if he would have hexed me then I would have done much worse to him" said Severus.

He was waiting for the chance to hurt them as they had done to him. Severus wanted to beat them severely for what they had done to him. He felt it was in his right to do so. Severus had to get rid of the people who had stolen his Lily from him. "It doesn't matter Severus, we are all the same and what do you mean by they deserve to be called that and I do not? Severus, it is time to grow up and move on" said Lily.

Lily took a drink of water with one hand while the other moved to her stomach. She had to calm down a little. Lily could tell she was getting worked up. Remus was watching from his table with a book in his hand. He could see that Severus was getting a little worked up. "It is different for you Lily; you are the only real friend I have had. I need to grow up and move on. Did you not say that Sirius would have hexed me" said Severus getting angry.

Severus pulled out his wand. He would never use it on Lily but, he was half tempted to use it on her child to piss Potter off. Severus knew that Potter would come after him then but, Severus put his wand way. He knew he would never win Lily over that way. "Severus, I know that I was your only friend but, you hurt me when you called me that name. I was only trying to stand up for you" said Lily with tears in her eyes forgetting about the last part that Severus said.

Remus was up in a heartbeat and over to Lily in a second. "Are you alright?" Remus asked.

Severus looked up at him. "Stay out of this, Wolf. We are doing fine without you butting in" said Severus.

Lily looked up at Severus. She gave him a dirty look. "So you haven't changed much have you?" Lily asked.

Severus then turned away from Remus to look at Lily. He leaned in to hug her, but she pulled away. "Lily I am sorry but, you have to understand I had no choice," said Severus.

Lily did not believe that for one second at all. "Right, Severus you had no choice. You did. Look at Remus, his kind every day are joining You-Know-Who, but he isn't so what makes you different?" asked Lily.

Severus sank back into his chair taking a drink. "You are right Lily, I had a choice, and I made mine. Once I lost you I lost everything" said Severus.

"Don't you dare pin this on me. I am not the reason you joined up" said Lily getting angry. "You joined on your own free will," said Lily.

Severus got up. He put down the money on the table. He had to get out of here before he did something that he wouldn't be proud of later. "I have to go, Lily. It was good to see you again. Tom, I am paying for theirs" Severus said and with that, he walked away.

A/N- If you would like more to this story then let me know. I would be willing to write more if people want it.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- Once again I do not own a thing. Thank you for the review, Andy. It meant a lot to me. HOpe you enjoy the chapter. Please read and review. I may do another chapter if there is some interest in it. It will be James and Severus meeting again for the first time in a while.

Lily sank into the stool. It was a lot to take in. She was hoping to come here to at least get some answers, and maybe hopefully they would be friends again but, that didn't work out. Lily put her head in her hands. She felt like crying. Severus had hurt her and bad. Remus was still in shock. He knew he had to do something. Severus was Lily's first friend and the one who told her that she was a witch. Lily looked up at Remus who was standing there. "Can you believe him? I thought him meeting with me meant that he had changed in some ways, but now I can see that he hasn't changed one bit" said Lily.

Remus sighed. He knew what he had to say. "Lily, maybe Severus has changed a little. He did write to you. Severus wanted to meet you here tonight so that you guys could work out things. Maybe it isn't too late to go after him. I am sure he would change for you" Remus said.

Lily knew that he would come in a heartbeat but the problem was, Severus loved her, and she wasn't sure that she loved him like that. Plus she was in love with James very much. At one point she may have been able to fall in love with Severus but, not now. "Remus it is a lost cause, you know what he wants, and I can't hurt James like that. I love him too much and add the fact that we are going to have a baby I just can't. Severus still loves me and wants me. I can't leave James for him" Lily spoke to Remus.

Remus gave an even more prominent sigh. "Lily you have to try. He was your first best friend. Severus may love you but, he would have to deal with the fact that he can't have you. While I do not like Severus that well because of what he has become, I will help you in any way that I can" Remus said back to her.

Lily by then had tears running down her cheek. She knew she had to go after him at least to repair their friendship if nothing else. "You are right, Remus. Thank you for being a good friend" said Lily standing up to hug him.

Remus knew he would pay for it later if James ever found out. It was true James grew up but, Remus wasn't sure how much he would like if Severus and Lily became friends again. Remus smile at Lily. "I try to be Lily," said Remus.

Lily gave him another hug. "You are Remus. Sirius and Peter would have never done this for me" said Lily.

Remus and Lily strolled towards the door. They had no idea where they would be headed to find Severus but, Remus and Lily knew they had to. Once outside Remus saw that it was darker than it had been when they got there. "Lily, we should head home for now. We can head out tomorrow to find Severus" said Remus.

Now it was Lily's turn to sigh. "You are right, Remus. We can't tell Sirius about this. He will flip out but, I have a feeling we should tell James" said Lily. Remus was hoping to avoid that but, he knew there was no way around it now. Seeing Remus face Lily said. "We can tell James it was my idea about finding Severus. You tried to talk me out of it but, I wouldn't listen, so you said you were coming along then. I don't want you to get in trouble because I am sure he would ban you from the house then I would have to put up with Sirius. There is no way I am going there."

Remus gave out a laugh as he held on to her to appear them home. James was sitting on the couch when Remus knocked on the door. He stood up real quick and ran to the door. James had his wand drawn but, opened the door. "Thank God, you are alright Lily. I was worried sick that something happened to you" said James.

James pulled Lily away from Remus and lead her into the house. Remus walked in shocked because James hadn't said a word to him yet. "What is going on, James?" asked Lily.

"Lily, there were more attacks, and I was afraid something happened to you. So how did it go?" James asked.

Lily gave James a look. "Before I tell you what happened I want to know why you were so worried," said Lily.

She wanted answers and wanted them now. James gave her a look then turned to Remus. "Could you please leave the room, Remus. My wife and I need to talk" said James.

Remus walked into the kitchen wondering what all that was about James seemed to be more worried. James had not used his nickname nor looked at him. Sure James was looking but, there was something in his eyes. "James what is going on, you are scaring me," said Lily.

James then turned to look about at her. "It isn't safe out there, Lily. People are being attacked by werewolves, and I thought about you being with Remus. It isn't safe for you to be around him any more Lily. Peter and Sirius seem to think that he is working for the Dark Lord" said James.

Lily was angry now. "I will have you know I trust Remus completely. Anyways if he was working for the Dark Lord don't you think, Severus would have said something if he knew. Remus is too kind and sweet to do anything" said Lily getting angry.

James frowned at her. "Lily, I know he was a good friend of yours back at Hogwarts but, look at Severus. You don't have the best taste in friends" said James.

"Listen here, James. Remus and I are going to look for Severus tomorrow. I have to make amends with him before it is too late. Severus can change, and I believe I can help him" said Lily.

James gave Lily a dirty look. "Listen Lily, Severus, may be able to change but, it isn't saying much if you are the only one who can change him," said James.

Lily stood up. She returned the dirty look. "I am going tomorrow no matter what you say, and Remus will be going with me. You can sleep on the couch tonight. Also, you need to say sorry to Remus. He has no idea why you are acting the way that you are" said Lily.

"I am sorry I will not. Remus hasn't been around lately, and he is acting funny" said James.

Lily stormed up to bed as Remus came out of the kitchen. "I will go now, James. Lily, I will come by tomorrow to get you then after that, I will stay away. It would be best for everyone" said Remus.

He looked sad. Lily heard Remus and turned back at the top of the stairs. "Remus thank you for your help. You do not have to stay away" Lily said.

She walked into James and her bedroom. James gave him a dirty look. "You will stay away tomorrow. Lily doesn't need to see Severus at all. You want to get them killed don't you?" asked James.

Remus put his head down and whispered. "No I do not but, I want to help her very much."

James caught on real quick or at least he thought he had. "You love Lily, don't you? That is the reason you are so willing to help her" said James.

"I am sorry James that you would think that but, I do not 'love' Lily as you put it. We are just good friends, and that is all" said Remus.

James gave him a look. He wasn't too sure that Remus was telling the truth. "Right whatever you say, Remus but, I know the truth" James replied.

Remus opened the door then took a step out. "I am sorry you feel that way, James. After tomorrow you won't see me again. Tell, Sirius and Peter it has been real" Remus stated.

With that, he took off and disappeared away. James felt a little bad but, it just proved what Peter and Sirius said. He made his way over to the couch and fell asleep. Upon morning arriving Lily woke up and went to eat the breakfast that James had fixed for them. "Lily, please talk to me or at least look at me," said James.

Lily did look at him but, the look plainly stated that she wasn't not going to waste her breath on him. It wasn't worth it. She finished as quickly as she could then got up to leave. Lily heard the knock and went to get it. "Hey Remus," she said as she opened the door after checking that it was him.

Remus nodded to her. "Hey Lily, once we are done with this I have to go. I asked Dumbledore if he needed a spy underground and he does. So I am going. It is for the best. I don't want to leave you but, there is no other way" said Remus.

They both hugged knowing it was the truth until James manned up and realized that Remus wasn't the traitor. "I understand. I will try talking to James and see what I can do but not promises" said Lily.

She bundled up the coat she had on, and they headed out. "Do you know where Severus would be right now?" asked Remus as they made their way down the street.

Lily sighed. She had no idea where he would be. Then she took a moment to think about it. "I have a feeling he may be at the park where we use to hang out at but, it is a long shot," said Lily.

"Then let's go. It is the best that we have" said Remus.

They appeared to the park. Severus saw them before they saw him. He wasn't sure if he wanted to speak to Lily but, if she was here, then it must be important. Severus slowly made his way over to them, and in about ten steps he was there. "What do you want?" asked Severus.

Lily looked at him then reached out to hug him but, Remus pulled her back. "What did you find out our fifth year about me?" asked Remus.

He did not draw his wand because they were around muggles which Severus was grateful for and was silently thanking him for that. Severus gave Remus a look. That was the question he chose to ask. He wasn't very bright then. "A found out that you were a werewolf," said Severus with a sneer.

"Right, now you may hug him, Lily. I am going to sit on the bench so that the two of you can talk without fighting. Severus hear Lily out ok?" said Remus.

Severus gave Remus a small nod then looked at Lily as Remus walked away. Lily pulled him into a hug. "I want my best friend back" she whispered to him.

Severus looked at her. "You can't have Potter and me, Lily it would never work out. We can't get along" said Severus.

Lily gave him a look then said. "Shall we go sit on the swings. I need to sit down."

Severus lead them over to the swings than sat down. "Lily if you want me back as a friend then you would be giving up a lot. First of all, you would have to divorce Potter because we would never get along and he wouldn't want you around me. Potter would make you choose between him and me" said Severus.

Lily had a question mark on her face. "Severus why would you say that? I am sure that we could work something out. Plus aren't you doing the same thing making me choose?" said Lily.

Severus sighed. He knew that he was guilty of that as well. "Because this is Potter we are talking about, Lily. He may have grown up but, something stays the same. No we can not Lily, and yes I am but, it has to be this way. There is no other way" said Severus. "Plus look what he is doing to one of his best friends. Potter is shutting him out because he thinks he is the traitor. Everyone knows it, Lily. It was bound to happen but, Remus isn't the one that is the traitor" said Severus.

Lily sat there in shock. Did Severus say that Remus wasn't the traitor? So that meant there was one. "How do you know it wasn't Remus?" she asked curiously.

"Because he is too kind and sweet to be the traitor. He would never turn on his friends at all" said Severus.

Lily gave Severus another hug. "Severus we can make this work. I am not going to lose you as a friend again, and James can deal with it. So can you. I want you as my friend, and nothing is going to stop that. I am sorry for any pain that I have caused you" said Lily.

Severus gave her a look. He was the one that caused her a lot of pain not the other way around. "Lily it is my fault we stopped being friends," said Severus "not yours." He hugged her tightly. Severus guess he could put up with Potter if he had to but, not Black. "I still want to be your friend, Lily. Just keep Black away from me" Severus said.

"Deal, Severus. I rather you two not kill each other" Lily replied.

Severus chuckled at that.


End file.
